競爭與合作作文選集及教師點評的內容

　　一、四級作文評分標準：

　　2分 （相當于14.2/710）—— 條理不清，思路紊亂，語言支離破碎或大部分句子均有錯誤，且多數為嚴重錯誤。（一塌糊涂）

　　5分 （相當于35.5/710）—— 基本切題。表達思想不清楚，連貫性差。有較多的嚴重語言錯誤。（糊里糊涂）

　　8分 （相當于56.8/710）—— 基本切題。有些地方表達思想不夠清楚，文字勉強連貫；語言錯誤相多，其中有一些是嚴重錯誤。（馬馬虎虎）

　　11分 （相當于78.1/710）—— 切題。表達思想清楚，文字連貫，但有少量語言錯誤。（清清楚楚）

　　14分 （相當于99.4/710）—— 切題。表達思想清楚，文字通順，連貫性好。基本上無語言錯誤，僅有個別小錯。（漂漂亮亮）

　　二、作文講評

　　Directions: For this part, you are required to write a composition on the topic Competition and Cooperation. You should write at least 120 words and base your composition on the outline given in Chinese below:

　　1. 在生活中，我們到處都能見到競爭。

　　2. 有時競爭與合作是并存的。

　　3. 我們要以正確的態度對待競爭與合作。

　　審題步驟：

　　1. 在生活中，我們到處都能見到競爭。

　　第一段的關鍵詞是“到處都能見到競爭”，用列舉法稍作展開，點到為止。

　　2. 有時競爭與合作是并存的。

　　第二段重點論述兩者之間的關系，用一個具體事例來論證兩者是如何并存的后，再列舉幾個同樣的事例補充說明，會使得論證充分翔實些。

　　3. 我們要以正確的態度對待競爭與合作。

　　第三段關鍵詞在“態度”上。可以使用觀點陳述法；也可以使用辯證法來說明不同的態度會帶來的不同影響。

　　三、本次作文的總體印象：

　　1. 多數同學都能做到基本切題和切題；

　　2. 能運用所學句型結構和高頻詞匯表達思想；

　　3. 多數同學能做到卷面整潔，書寫較工整；

　　4. 少數同學未能按照寫作提綱展開段落；

　　5. 部分同學存在語言表達不夠簡潔或表達不清楚的問題；

　　6. 段與段之間的過渡問題、句和句之間的連貫性問題；

　　7. 拼寫問題；

　　competition

　　四、范文賞析

　　Sample 1 for Paragraph 1 Competition exists in widely varied activities. Players of the same football team compete for slots on the team. In a workplace,colleagues compete for higher positions. And also in businessmarkets share. As for studentsin a society. （運用列舉法簡要說明競爭無處不在）(13分)

　　（13級生科——張蒙）

　　Sample 2 for Paragraph 1

　　Competition is a common phenomenon in our social life. We compete when we play games, we try to do better than others in study, and our job, fame, wealth and something else all involve competition. Consequently, we can say that, to some extent,  (12分) （13級物理——朱朝陽）

　　Sample for Paragraph 2

　　……For example, a film is released successfully as a result of the willing cooperative efforts of many workers. But different films compete against each other

　　for higher profits at the “box office”(票房). Actually, there are a lot of phenomenon paralleling shooting a movie in these respects such as the debate and the production of goods.（舉例貼切、新穎） (13分)

　　（13級歷史——付梅顰）

　　Sample 1 for Paragraph 3

　　To avoid meaningless competition, what we should do can be listed as follows. Firstly, to consider competition as a method of improving ourselves, we are supposed to take competitors as accompanies who can company us on the way of life instead of our enemies. Furthermore, it would be a blessing if we can pull together with prospective competitors to advance achievements. By cooperating with them, we can undoubtedly, strengthen ourselves and find out their disadvantages in hope of seizing the opportunity. (觀點陳述清楚、有條理。) (13分)

　　（13級歷史——駱勇）

　　Sample 2 for Paragraph 3

　　It follows that there is an inseparable relationship between competition and cooperation. We cooperate with others to be more competitive, and we compete to earn a better environment for cooperation. Thus, we can make a progress continuously. So, we should keep a right attitude about this: Only together with cooperation, can competition lead us to realize our common goals and encourage us to build a peaceful and prosperous society.（句式變化靈活多樣！）（13級歷史——程子璇）

　　Sample 2 for Paragraph 2

　　Although the “law of the jungle” which makes many people become out of work seems to be pretty cutthroat. However, cooperation is also wildly distributed in the market and our daily life. Actually, they even rely on each other to reach a balance,

　　(12分)

　　（13級物理——嚴體曾）

　　Sample 3 for Paragraph 2  (承上啟下，過渡自然) In fact, competition and cooperation exist side by side in many situations. For example, like an researcher longing for Nobel Award, it’s a must for him or her to cooperate with others and work together with the whole team to defeat the opponents. （13分）

　　（13級心理——莫宇琪）

　　Sample 3 for Paragraph 3

　　It’s the attitude towards competition and cooperation we hold that determines whether we can have a colorful life. If we take competitom too seriously, life will be pale, and greed will destroy ourselves. In contrast, life will be so dull, and we’ll lose our individuality. Hold a correct attitude to coordinate competition and cooperation; only in this way can we live a harmonious life. (12分)

　　（13級——物理楊軍文）

　　Sample 1

　　Competition exists widely in our daily life. For instance, students compete for grades, workers compete for higher positions and different firms compete for profits. (語言簡潔，緊扣exist widely展開說明生活中，競爭無處不在。)

　　However, competition is inseparable from cooperation. Indeed, to succeed in competition requires great cooperation skills. A basketball team is an unequaled example of cooperation, yet competition has a role to play even in teams. Different members compete for each other seat in the team. Moreover, different teams compete for the championship. The production of steel, the operation of a department store, and the publication of a magazine all involve both cooperation and competition.

　　Competition and cooperation exist side by side in human society.（本段的結論句，總結自然不突兀，合乎邏輯。）

　　Free market competition is often described as “cutthroat” and “wasteful”, yet in competitive markets; firms don’t attack each other savagely. They compete by seeing who can best cooperate with consumers. market enhances cooperation. Both competition and cooperation have their own roles to play in building a peaceful and prosperous society. （13分）

　　這篇文章能很好地緊扣主題，詳略得當。語言表達流暢、通順，能活學活用所學課文中的句式和詞語表達思想。

　　第一段語言簡潔，列舉得當；第二、三段為文章的主體部分。尤其是第二段，作者運用事例很好的闡述了競爭與合作之間的關系。第三段若能在段首點明我們應該采取怎樣的態度來對待競爭與合作，就更完美了。

　　（13級生科——高越）

　　Sample 2

　　Competition is common in every field of our daily life. We compete with others when we play games, when we try to do better in our study and when we constantly compete for jobs, fame, profit, etc.（列舉事例簡明扼要）

　　Some people think competition is the only way to lead to success. However, cooperation is the same essential to success. We can often find competition and cooperation go hand in handIn football team, one team is competing with the other, but each member of the team is cooperating with his teammates. can not compete without cooperation. Cooperation can build trust between each other and help to bring long-term relationship. Human beings are social beings. No one can exist alone in the society. Cooperation makes a win-win situation.

　　In my opinion, while advocating competition, we should never forget cooperation.（分詞結構的句子運用，好！） In our daily life, cooperation is especially necessary